“Will the real Slim Shady please stand up… and handle this lawsuit?”
SUBMIT YOUR
ALLEGED CRIMES
For entertainment purposes only. We may or may not obey the laws of reality. Kitchen appliances not liable.
We will try to reach out to you before you drive your car off a bridge with your pregnant girlfriend in the trunk.
CASE PRECEDENTS
THE STATE VS. MONDAYS
A high-stakes class action lawsuit against the concept of Mondays for being structurally depressing and causing unscheduled emotional baggage across all 50 states.
NARCISSUS VS. THE MIRROR
Filing for an immediate restraining order against a bathroom mirror for non-consensual mimicry and aggressive invasion of personal space in a public restroom.
APPLIANCE BREACH OF CONTRACT
Suing a high-end toaster for a catastrophic breach of contract after it burnt a perfectly good artisanal sourdough slice while technically on the clock.